How We Teach Life Skills
By Andy Mishkin In Insight
Kids want to learn to kick, punch, and leap high in the air, but Karate also helps them gain the power that comes from being able to control yourself at a deeper, more internal level. Parents want their children to learn life skills such as discipline, focus, and, of course, respect, even as they value the physical attributes that Karate also instills. However, we want to do more than teach them how to behave well in the studio when they are training. We want our students to bring their life skills home to the families and with them wherever they go in the community. We get there in four steps: define, practice, apply, and connect.
1. Define
First, we define the life skill in an age-appropriate way so the children understand what we’re asking them to learn. For example, we teach our students that “Discipline means to always do your best.” That’s simple, easy to remember, and fairly accurate. We use a lot of call-and-response so that they start hearing themselves saying the definition out loud and highlight simple examples that show how the life skill works. Words have power. We want them to take ownership of the life skill right away, so they can start to embody the positive power the life skill can unlock. When we explain the definition, we provide examples that apply to the studio and learning Karate but place just as much emphasis on doing their best at home and school.
2. Practice
Next, we put the life skill to work. For example, we may show them a technique, such as a front-kick, and teach them to do three things to perform the kick correctly. So, we have a simple task and three simple things to do to complete the task. If they execute the kick properly, we praise them and explain how they did their best to do all three pieces correctly. That way, not only do they know they did their best, they also know exactly what “doing their best” meant during the exercise. We don’t give generic “great job” compliments. If we can’t bring our best to the moment, we can’t expect them to.
3. Apply
Just like adults, kids have trouble putting life skills to work. If they are struggling with something, we work to get them to articulate what they need to do to own the skill. So, getting back to our front kick example, we may ask them what they need to do to make the kick their best. “You were keeping your hands up but you need to pull your toes…” Hopefully they’ll respond by saying, “…back!” We try it again, and…awesome, they did their very best front kick! They took another step forward in learning discipline because they had to think about the skill. We use this approach all the time. Instead of saying, “please stand still,” we’ll ask our kids, “how should you be standing right now to show that you are doing your best?” This may sound simple but is very powerful, because we’re teaching them to think about their actions and the life skill.
4. Connect
After your child has completed the “Discipline” Life Skill lesson, it’s time for them to receive a Merit Badge they can put on their uniform. However, we do not give the badge directly to the child, we give it to the parent along with a sheet that describes what we’ve taught and why. If the child wants the badge, they have to put their newfound knowledge to work at home and the parents decide if they earned the badge. It is a fairly simple technique, but very effective. Kids get in the habit of taking the skill home with them. As they get older, the Merit Badges may grow a bit less compelling, but the habit of taking the skill home will continue.
It is not always as simple to teach life skills as I have outlined, but our fundamental process fits into these four steps. By learning what each life skill is, children are able to work with it in their class, internalize it in their training, and then carry it with them into their life.
Hopefully, as they feel the positive impact that each new life skill has on the quality of their life, the children will develop an even deeper, more powerful incentive to continue to train in Karate. The last part of the process is not one that we can control in the studio, but we do work every day to help them realize their incredible inner potential.