Functioning beyond exhaustion
By Judy Wood In Insight“What we get when we turn pro is, we find our power.”
– Steven Pressman
Everyone’s fatigue is palpable. It’s clear when we greet people in our lobby that people have gone past their points of exhaustion. However, I don’t think the news is all bad, and that our journey through the pandemic has been a permanent set back for us as people, or as a people. I believe that our shared burden has led to more empathy. We really mean it when we ask each other “How are you doing?”, and we really listen and connect with each other when we answer. That can’t be bad. II believe we’ve been through the Test of a Thousand Strikes.
I was training for my 3rd Degree Black Belt in the late 90’s and there were some serious Black Belts coming up behind me. Times being what they were, and my dojo (martial arts school) being what it was, the only coin that counted was to show that I had skills that exceeded theirs. To level up, I went through the Test of a Thousand Strikes. I was to spar with five of other Black Belts at the same time, all lower rank than me. They would take turns attacking me two-hundred times each and I would have to respond one thousand times. Each of them got a chance to recover while the others took their turn. I did not.
The test did not begin well. I was in good shape but was exhausted after about fifteen minutes. My technique began to collapse. All I could think about was my fatigue, and how far I had to go, and had more than a twinge of regret for not having trained a little bit harder. However, if I didn’t finish, I would have to go another year before testing again, and my hard-earned seniority would be gone. Having no alternative, I continued. Gradually, things got better. I hit the bottom of my fatigue and found my inner base-line. I took my mind off how I felt and began to focus on my partners’ earlier and earlier in their attacks. My awareness increased and I began to see places where they were predictable, and therefore vulnerable. They also began to get a bit tired themselves. I grew more efficient and began to recover my breathing. I discovered a way to move that was more real, for lack of a better word. By the end, I didn’t seem any more fatigued than the guys I was training with. I leveled up a month later, and used my new rank to inspire others to level up as well, including the Black Belts who delivered the Thousand Strikes.
I frequently reflect on the Thousand Strikes. It changed me as a person. However, difficult it was, it was just training, and therefor far easier than what we’re all going through now. I knew what I was facing going in, and we did not know what the pandemic was going to do to our lives, our families and our communities. I knew my test would end. We don’t know what is coming next in our lives today.
Which brings me back to Centerpoint’s lobby and the lovely people who come in and genuinely want to know how we’re doing. I am deeply comforted by these simple acts. I see a community choosing to be more considerate, more patient and more empathetic with themselves and each other. I think that we all have begun to accept that there nothing to do but keep our hands up, stay balanced, breathe through our fatigue and accomplish our goals no matter what stands in our way. I see a community that is finding its power.