Being Patient with Pre-K and Kindergarten-Aged Children
By Andy Mishkin In Insight
Showing patience with a child can be very challenging, but understand the developmental milestones they are moving towards at each age level helps. Knowing how long it will take children to develop certain skills makes it easier to stay patient when teaching and use methods that bring out the best in each age level. No matter how hard you try, there are no shortcuts past or through each stage. Just like pulling on a carrot does not make it grow faster, being more authoritative doesn’t necessarily serve the child’s growth.
For example, five- to six-year-olds have good basic full-body coordination – they can perform complicated actions like kicking a pad or climbing over an obstacle – BUT do not yet have a great deal of muscular strength. That makes it hard for them to sit still because their muscles get tired. Exercises like push-ups are very difficult because they require sustained effort by isolated muscle groups. [Note: muscular strength is different than energy level! This age group is always on the move, but they rarely do one single high energy movement for long!] So, when they have trouble sitting still or doing certain exercises, it is more a sign of fatigue than a lack of manners or listening skills. The same is true of their social skills. They like to be the center of attention because it is less fatiguing. It is hard to maintain the self-control needed to think about other people, take turns, or wait in line.
We focus on building physical strength and social skills when we teach the five- to six-year-old age group in our Excellent Kids Class – but don’t expect miracles overnight. We try to get them to sit still for 30 seconds at a time, working up to one minute. Sitting still is not just a mental exercise, it is also a physical one. As their core strength grows, they will be able to be still more easily and concentrate better. We start developing their muscles with some modified calisthenics or directed play. For example, when we teach fitness, they learn how to do something called a “Bear Walk.” It helps them develop their upper body strength, but it uses whole body movements, so they can build their chest and shoulder muscles without over-isolating them. They learn how to take turns the same way. We don’t ask them to share for very long and we start teaching the sharing process with their parents, not other children. We ask them to share and take turns holding pads or playing catch and have them do this with someone who is more than ready to be patient with them. We don’t ask them to share and take turns with other kids until they turn seven-years-old. [Watch for my next blog post where I talk about seven-to-nine-year olds.]
We measure the gains in small increments and highlight each tiny milestone. Rather than drawing attention to what they are doing wrong, we work to catch them doing something right! We know that learning these new skills will take a while, but by understanding the underlying developmental process, we can stay patient, positive, and focused on their success.